Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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