My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
no you cant smoke seaweed
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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