Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
