This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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