Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
