fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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