he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
