This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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