After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
