I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
