i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
