Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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