Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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