if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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