Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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