if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
