i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize