Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
