i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
