He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
