She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
