I just threw up on my dentist
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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