Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
