his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She bit a glass in half.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
