just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
