U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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