Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
