I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
