I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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