two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
