If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
BRING THE BAGELS
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