If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
