No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
