I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
