Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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