I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
