I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
