I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
