I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Semen is not good for contacts.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
