Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
