come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Are we still banned from the library?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
