ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
can u get pink eye on your cock?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
