You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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