I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize