Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
