would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
