he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
