I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
