Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
