I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
there is glitter all over my balls
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
