we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
