just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
