there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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