...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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