I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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