there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
