Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
