My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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