So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
