He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
