i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
