He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
