If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize