There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
