My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
