he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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