You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
50% drunk capacity currently
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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