you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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