the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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