Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
