Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
