Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
If I die, sorry about rent.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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