I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
These tits shall not be calmed
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
