Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
