I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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