is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
