I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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